Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based approach designed to help couples strengthen their emotional bonds by fostering a secure connection. Developed in the 1980s by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT is rooted in attachment theory and posits that people have an inherent need for emotional security and connection. When these needs go unmet, couples often experience cycles of conflict, frustration, and withdrawal, which EFT seeks to resolve by identifying and transforming negative interaction patterns.
EFT consists of three stages: de-escalation, restructuring interactions, and consolidation. In the de-escalation phase, couples learn to recognize and understand their negative cycles. During restructuring, partners learn to express their emotions and attachment needs in a way that strengthens their bond. In the consolidation phase, couples reinforce these changes to create lasting, positive relationship dynamics. Research has shown that EFT can significantly improve relationship satisfaction and stability, with around 70-75% of couples moving from distress to recovery and about 90% showing significant improvements (Johnson et al., 1999).
EFT's success lies in its emphasis on creating emotional safety and promoting open, vulnerable communication. By focusing on underlying emotional needs and fostering empathy, EFT equips couples with the skills to nurture a resilient, secure connection that withstands challenges over time.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Commonly referred to as CBT. This theory looks at the automatic thoughts that a person experiences everyday. Once we can shed light on the automatic thoughts (bring them into consciousness and awareness) we are better able to make a change to maladaptive thinking patterns. When we change our thinking, our feelings about our thoughts can change, as well as our behaviours. Why do we want to change our thoughts? Some thoughts can be distorted or maladaptive and in continuing this pattern of distorted thinking, we continue in behaviours and feelings that are contributing to our presenting problems.
image retrieved from https://www.online-therapy.com/
Narrative Therapy
Narrative Therapy is a perspective of therapy that views the problem to be outside of the person. That is the person is not the problem, the problem is the problem (Madigan, 2011). From this point of view, the counsellor invites the client to re-author the life story and examines how the problem came into one's life. For example, a person has a relationship with depression, alcohol, anorexia, etc., not the view that the person is depression, is an alcoholic, and is anorexic. It is the relationship that exists between the person and the problem. Once we externalize the problem from the self, we can create a new story about ourselves.
CBT can be used with Narrative Therapy to examine the messages we have received about who we are. Once we look at problems in a different way (cognitive/thinking) we are able to identify ways in which we tell ourselves and others about how we relate to problems. We find exceptions to the problem. This allows us to feel differently and behave differently in reaction to the problem.
Existential Therapy
Existential therapy provides a more philosophical/intellectual therapeutic approach.
It looks at individuals as:
- having the capacity for self-awareness, experiencing tension between freedom and responsibility
- creating an identity and establishing meaningful relationships
- searching for the meaning, purpose and values of life
- accepting anxiety as a condition of living
(Reference: www.counsellingtutor.com)
Feminist Approach
Feminist approach includes "empowerment, valuing and affirming diversity, striving for change rather than adjustment, equality, balancing independence and interdependence, social change, and self-nurturance" (Corey, p. 370). At the heart of feminist therapy is the strive for social change. It requires looking outside the individual for the problem and addressing it in a social context.
Feminist therapy is not just for women - therapists look at ways in which all clients may be struggling due to societal pressures, regardless of identity and diversity.
Used with CBT, Feminist therapy looks at how we come to believe the thoughts we have about ourselves.
Client Centered Approach
Carl Rogers (1957) wrote of the therapeutic relationship in regards to creating a space of unconditional positive regard, genuineness, and empathy for the client. It is through this person-centred approach that the therapist and client experience change and grow.
Building a relationship with your therapist takes time, effort, willingness, and commitment. The relationship is the foundation of therapy and it is important that you find a good fit for you.
Expressive Arts Therapy
Expressive arts is a form of creative interventions that can be used as a mode of expressing oneself. There are different modalities that can be used such as music, art, poetry, sand-play, and even dance or drama.
This modality of intervention depends on the client's comfort level in trying new experiences or existing hobbies in a new way.
Expressive arts is not a theory, but an alternative to traditional talk-therapy. It is not a fit for everyone and will only be used with client consent, as every intervention should be. Please consult with your therapist if you would like to try something a little non-traditional.
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To learn more about Expressive Arts Therapy, see this blog post from Psychology Today: